I think I've figured out why I have such bad luck with dates. I'm always looking for things that sweep me off my feet in a wave of emotion. I like rushes. I'm a seeker of immediate immersion. Unfortunately, this means that I don't have the patience to stick with something through the slow opening stages. I often read ten pages of a book and put it down for months or knit up half a front of a sweater and put it down for months. Also why I will go on a date and decide within fifteen minutes that I do not want to be there and there is no way on earth that I could ever end up in a meaningful relationship with this person.
This is the play-by-play in my head on a typical date:
Hmmm. I suppose you're empirically attractive, but why have you not shaved? I know you're all artsy and angsty, but that doesn't mean you have to sport perpetual five o'clock shadow, does it? You seem reasonably intelligent. Wait, why are you bringing up your fight with your sister on a first date? Doesn't bode well for my confidence in your ability to keep confidences. At least you're not a picky eater. I hate picky eaters...and now you're pushing all the carrots on your plate into a little bunch and not eating them. Yes, let's move on to movies. You don't like Back to the Future? What?? I'm just beginning to think that men with chest hair should really button that top button. Yes, that unbuttoned button is really starting to distract me. I need another glass of wine. Wiiiine, where are youuuuuu???? Maybe you're funnier when I'm tipsy. Let's try that. Nope. Why has my best friend not texted me about later plans? I may have to enter a convent. My cheeks hurt from forcing myself to smile. God, I am going to grow old and alone and live in a rickety Victorian mansion with only cats for company. I will be surrounded by mountains of stash and pull a Miss Havisham and wear a moldy vintage wedding gown and really mess up a little girl's life by poisoning her mind against evil, evil men.
Whew. Basically at this point in the night, I've decided this will never work. I'd rather read a book. Or knit a sock. Sad little single socks, that is.
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I've also been distracted by more projects. I am a project ho. Fo sho.
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And I was looking through my stash and decided this wonderful Louet MerLin Tristan needed to be knit. It was crying because I'd ignored it for so long.
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2 comments:
Beautiful pics!
Wait, I thought you had a significant other. Are you dating again?
Your thoughts are hilarious! Mine, I shudder to think of people being able to read my scattered thoughts.
Very funny. After two marriage's I choose the yarn and cats.
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