FO: Violent Violet Beret

Violent Violet Beret
Pattern: Rose Red by Ysolda
Yarn: Frog Tree Alpaca Sportweight, 2 skeins
Needles: US 6 DPNs and 16" circ

I basically spent the better part of knitting this beret thinking of that line in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, when Violet Beauregarde's father screams, "You're turning violet, Violet!" Because this is one intensely violet yarn. I also caught part of the Alec Baldwin SNL retrospective on television the other night and the word "scrumptrulescent" kept repeating in my head. Because this is one intensely scrumptrulescent pattern. There's nothing more to be said. It took me a while because knitting in the round on 16" circs is fiddly. But each stitch was lovely and the pattern is so clear it threatens to turn transparent. Yes, I make bad jokes.

This one is going to my friend, but I reallyreallyreallyreally want one for ME. I am going to have to scour for some pretty angora-blend yarn so I can have one of these pretties for my very own. Alpaca worked great, but it's not quite as fluffy as I had expected.

Scrumptrulescent. Yep, this is indeed a scrumptrulescent hat. I love it so much that I went ahead and purchased Ysolda's Gretel pattern, too. Argh, what the hey am I going to do with 10,000 berets???

Scattergories & Stashbusting

There are periods in my life when my brain just cannot stay focused. This is one of those times. I've been sweeping out my room and trying to sweep out the dusty corners of my head, but I seem to be making little progress.

I think I've figured out why I have such bad luck with dates. I'm always looking for things that sweep me off my feet in a wave of emotion. I like rushes. I'm a seeker of immediate immersion. Unfortunately, this means that I don't have the patience to stick with something through the slow opening stages. I often read ten pages of a book and put it down for months or knit up half a front of a sweater and put it down for months. Also why I will go on a date and decide within fifteen minutes that I do not want to be there and there is no way on earth that I could ever end up in a meaningful relationship with this person.

This is the play-by-play in my head on a typical date:

Hmmm. I suppose you're empirically attractive, but why have you not shaved? I know you're all artsy and angsty, but that doesn't mean you have to sport perpetual five o'clock shadow, does it? You seem reasonably intelligent. Wait, why are you bringing up your fight with your sister on a first date? Doesn't bode well for my confidence in your ability to keep confidences. At least you're not a picky eater. I hate picky eaters...and now you're pushing all the carrots on your plate into a little bunch and not eating them. Yes, let's move on to movies. You don't like Back to the Future? What?? I'm just beginning to think that men with chest hair should really button that top button. Yes, that unbuttoned button is really starting to distract me. I need another glass of wine. Wiiiine, where are youuuuuu???? Maybe you're funnier when I'm tipsy. Let's try that. Nope. Why has my best friend not texted me about later plans? I may have to enter a convent. My cheeks hurt from forcing myself to smile. God, I am going to grow old and alone and live in a rickety Victorian mansion with only cats for company. I will be surrounded by mountains of stash and pull a Miss Havisham and wear a moldy vintage wedding gown and really mess up a little girl's life by poisoning her mind against evil, evil men.

Whew. Basically at this point in the night, I've decided this will never work. I'd rather read a book. Or knit a sock. Sad little single socks, that is.

Look at them, all alone in the world without a partner. But they are amongst friends, no?

I've also been distracted by more projects. I am a project ho. Fo sho.

It's Ysolda's Rose Red Beret pattern, but I'm making it in an electric purple for a friend. She says it's her favorite color. It's quite electric.

And I was looking through my stash and decided this wonderful Louet MerLin Tristan needed to be knit. It was crying because I'd ignored it for so long.

It's the very humble beginnings of a Gathered Pullover. I never really thought about this pattern until I saw Eunny's (Ravelry link). She used this same yarn and I suddenly knew that I must knit this sweater. It's so beautiful but in a streamlined, subdued kind of way.

The yarn is simply elegant in terms of structure and drape. This pattern calls for a sportweight yarn on a slightly larger-than-normal needle. I got gauge on a US 8. It's perfect for my wandering mind right now.

Look at the little purl bumps. The plies are so pretty. I am trying to think of dating like I think of this project. I thought I knew what I would do with the yarn (Linen Kilt from Knit 2 Together) but ignored its potential and simply let it sit in the stash for almost a year. All at once, an external trigger launched a closer look at the simple beauty of the yarn and I felt that immediate rush. So one day, maybe I will realize that both Mr. Wrong and I deserve a second chance. Here's to wishing.

FO: Giant Sea Urchin Beret

Once upon a time, I used to be a pre-med. I thought I would devote my life to saving small children from malaria epidemics in Africa. Thankfully, I reached the understanding that I was not meant to be a medical doctor before I wasted my time and everyone else's by groaning my way through the rest of my chem labs and even through med school with a big frown on my face.

But I did enjoy science a fair bit and I liked my freshman year bio lab well enough. Our TF once handed us male sea urchins and told us to inject the male urchins with a chemical that caused them to ejaculate. Then we were told to take the...um...stuff...and fertilize sea urchin ova. After that, we had the fun of looking through a microscope as the cells rapidly divided.

That's basically all I was thinking about while I knit this the other night:

Giant Sea Urchin Beret

Pattern: Bulky Beret by Lipp Holmfeld in VK Holiday '06
Yarn: Rowan Big Wool, 1.3 balls in color Mulberry
Needles: US 13 24" circulars and DPNs

This may be my absolutely most wearable knit. The thing is, I am not a hat person. Not at all. I hate how they make my head look, I hate how they flatten my hair. Yuck. When I wear a normal hat, I keep thinking of Tom Hanks' line in A League of Their Own when he mutters to the umpire, "Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with that little hat on?"

But this hat is different! Yes! Different! Better! Not hair-flattening! Love-worthy! So much so that I stuck a little feather on it and called it macaroni.

Yep, Yankee Doodle ain't got nothin' on me. I actually stuck them together because these are the colors that make me happiest. Deep green, gold, and vibrant purple. I am a bit obsessed by that little feather pen. When I'm down, I dip it into (violet!) ink and scribble away in my journal and imagine I am Charlotte Bronte.

And here is me modeling it in oh-so professional fashion without even changing out of my pajamas. I have also decided that Rowan needs a big round of applause for creating the most perfect plum-purple shade EVER. It's not coming out right in the photos, but the true shade is like the purpliest of purples that leans juuuuust enough towards burgundy. Big Wool is also a scrumptious yarn and I finished this in an hour. You heard me. One measly hour. Truly, a last-minute knitted gift. Only this one is a gift for me.

Totally off-topic, but if you haven't seen No Country for Old Men, get thee to a movie theater!

It was so good that I went through an existential panic attack during the last scene. Ok, that doesn't sound like a positive recommendation, but the movie gripped me in a way that very few movies have over the last year. It's incredibly sad and incredibly thought-provoking. Tommy Lee Jones' weathered face and his understated performance are both just wonderful and Javier Bardem continues to convince me that he's a fantabulous actor with (gasp!) depth.

In addition, I also saw American Gangster this weekend and was a bit disappointed. Denzel is Denzel and Russell is Russell. Not much else goes on other than glamorizing the drug business and painting most of drug law enforcement as crooked. But the common denominator in both movies: Josh Brolin. Who knew that Brand from The Goonies would become a fantabulous actor in his own right? Somewhere, Andy Carmichael is very, very glad that she gave Troy back his letter jacket.